Margret with the painting of Suzanne Johnson
Some painting projects flow from beginning to end without a hitch or hiccup. The dream project goes like this: conceive a composition, decide on how you want to approach it, execute. Other times, every step is a challenge. As much as I would like to live in the illusive flow state where everything happens just as planned, it is in the challenging projects you learn more about your craft and about yourself.
The painting I am going to tell you about falls into the challenging category for several reasons.
In November of 2018 I attended a figurative art conference for painters and sculptors near Miami, Florida at the Biltmore Hotel. While there I met Suzanne Johnson, an artist. In talking we found we were both members of Poets and Artists, a group brought together in order to promote figurative realism. Poets and Artists had just announced a new project, The Creator and the Muse, in which members of the group would pair off and paint each other. Suzanne and I agreed to take part together. The group’s plan was to publish a collector’s magazine and have a real-life show in May 2020 at a gallery in Chicago along with a weekend-long event in which the members of Poets and Artists would convene to socialize and network.
Studio Visit
Suzanne and I had our first meeting at her studio and jewelry showroom in a beautiful and spacious church she remodeled in Grand Blanc, Michigan. Suzanne photographed me and used one of the shots to paint her portrait of me.
As Suzanne is a widely recognized and sought-after sculptor and jeweler, as well as a painter, I came up with a concept in which I would illustrate the process she uses to conceive of jewelry designs, work up sketches, and fabricate the final piece from precious metals. I envisioned her as an icon of bold creativity. My plan would use her pencil sketches and, somehow, show molten gold flowing and coalescing into a beautiful alchemy of concept and material. I knew it was ambitious, but I wanted to do something interesting that told a story about Suzanne.
Suzanne came to the studio in my house for a reference photo shoot and I described what I wanted to do and the poses I wanted. As I took the shots with my camera, I could see that the poses were not right for Suzanne and it seemed awkward for her. Luckily, I took a few straight head and shoulders shots.
I learned from this that you cannot force a pose on a person. Each of us has a way of moving and natural postures. To go against this often causes too much rigidity in the body which comes through in the pose.
I moved forward with one of the head and shoulders shots which I felt showed both strength and vulnerability in Suzanne. I decided to create a dark turbulent sky for the background. I wanted to balance and contrast the calm of her visage against the tumult of the sky, showing her poise and calm strength along with her inner energy and power as an artist.
Painting the Portrait
As the painting progressed, I struggled with the gap between what I wanted to accomplish and my current skills as a figurative artist. The process was difficult and there were times I wondered if I was up to the task. Still, I moved along, learned and improved along the way, completed the painting, and had it photographed for submission.
Along the way I became frustrated, though, because before joining Poets and Artists I had been posting work-in-progress shots and posting them to social media. Friends would say to me, “Why aren’t you posting on Facebook? I miss seeing your paintings.” As an artist I missed that connection. But that was a requirement of joining the group. You are not allowed to post work before publication and shows so that they can provide fresh, never-been-seen-before work to collectors.
Back on the Easel
The time finally came to submit the painting to the show. I had taken the painting with me when I moved to Florida for the winter, as well as the professionally taken photos of the painting. As I was putting my submission packet together, I brought the photos up on the computer screen and suddenly, after some time away and the different perspective that comes with that, I saw it in a different light. I was appalled at flaws that I had not seen before. The skin tone on the left, shaded side, was horribly splotchy. I simply had to fix it. I also saw other problems that needed attention.
So, in January of 2020, back on the easel it went. You can imagine how difficult it is to get back into a painting after months of being out of the flow of it, not to mention negative thoughts pinging around in your head, like, “If I couldn’t get it right the first time, can I really do a better job now?”
I persevered and by the first week in February I was finished for a second time.
Journey Continues
At this point I needed to have a professional quality photograph taken of the newly reworked painting, but I was in Florida with no photographer at my disposal. I struggled with the decision to spend the money, but wound up buying a new DSLR so that I could photograph the painting myself. After hours of learning to use the souped-up camera and after many takes, I did capture a decent shot and was pleased with the result.
I submitted the painting just before the deadline in mid-February 2020.
Rejection
Within a few weeks the results of jury selection were announced. I received the dreaded non-acceptance email. My painting, the absolute best work I could do, was not accepted into the show. It was, however, going to be published in the collector’s magazine, along with all submissions. It was small consolation, but it was at least a bit of a positive outcome, something I could list in my curriculum vitae.
Pandemic
We all know what happened next. The Covid-19 pandemic hit, and the world went into lock-down, including the art market. All public shows were canceled, along with The Creator and the Muse. Because the show was canceled, so was the collector’s magazine. The last shred of upside had been stripped away.
Standing in my Power
I have now withdrawn from the Poets and Artists group in order to take back the power to post what and when I want to. I have also decided to focus on work that’s completely of my own choosing. I will accept commissions, because I love creating work that is meaningful to people and makes them happy, but no more open calls requiring unique work created for a particular theme.
Lessons Learned
This project allowed me to practice, once again, acceptance of rejection and disappointment with grace. I was, of course, very upset at times, and the voices in my head weren’t as calm and collected as this account of the events may suggest. This, however, is a skill anyone in a creative field, and in life in general, must practice in order to survive and thrive. It is not easy, but the alternative, giving up, is the true failure, and that is just not an option for me, and I hope not for you either.
Everyone has had to face challenges during the pandemic, putting this small struggle into perspective. I hope that your struggles are small, and you remain healthy and happy in the face of challenges.